So guess what everyone? I finished watching all of the star trek episodes in all… 6/5 seasons (if you count the animated, non-canon, and famously unremembered TAS)… TOS, TAS, TNG, DS9, VOY, and ENT. ALL OF THEM. The last episode of Enterprise ends on a contextualizing note: the struggles of the Enterprise crew’s last mission is being reviewed by a one William T. Riker in a holodeck program aboard the Enterprise NCC-1701-D two hundred years in the future.
Which reminded me: I stopped writing episode summaries and creating GIFs when I was tasked with watching a TNG episode called “Menage a Troi”, which is heavy with Riker and Troi shenanigans. Gahhh. I hate both of these characters so much. But as they both made their way into the last Star Trek episode of all time… well, maybe I should just jump past my hatred of the two and get on with reviewing Star Trek episodes.
PLUS I’VE FINALLY GOTTEN A HANDLE ON MY THIRD YEAR IN MEDICAL SCHOOL SO HUZZAH, I HAVE FREE TIME. SORTA. Irregardless, I absolutely LOVE love LOVE Majel Barrett and this episode also has a ton of her in it so hurray.
Also also, the thought of no longer having Star Trek in my life is exquisitely painful. My med school friends don’t understand my obsession with Klingons and no matter what I do, I can’t stop thinking about all my “friends*” living centuries away in the future.
I also read “Ready Player One” by Ernest Cline, and although it rarely mentions Star Trek (here’s my favorite quote BTW, on page 63: “Star Trek? Oh, I did my homework. TOS, TNG, DS9. Even Voyager and Enterprise. I watched them all in chronological order. The movies, too.” (FYI, I’ve watched 5/6 TOS Star Trek movies, and I intend to finish the remaining 5 movies within the next month), it made me feel really proud to be a nerd. And I found myself missing this blog.
*LOL. I sound exactly like Philip J. Fry in the Futurama episode “Where No Fan Has Gone Before” which was actually a huge motivation for me to start watching Star Trek in the first place. Talk about full circle.
So I guess I’m going to talk about this fucking episode:
PLOT: Troi’s mom, Roxanna, is selected by a Ferengi officer to be his mate. Nobody wants this. The only thing Betazoid’s and Ferengi’s have in common is their mutual acceptance of female nudity. Instead of buying her, since women are property by ferengi standards, (THIS IS THE FUTURE, DAMMIT, GET WITH THE TIMES FERENGINAR) the Ferengi officer kidnaps Roxanna, Deanna, and Riker. JUST FYI, if I ever get kidnapped by someone who wants to wine me, dine me, sex me, and marry me, the last person I want to be kidnapped with is my mother and any one of my ex-boyfriends (hopefully this will never come up).
Upside, Riker looks really sexy in a blue shirt he felt was appropriate for his and Deanna’s “just-friends” pic-nic-date. Seriously, I recognize this relationship is actually probably pretty true of modern day ones—repetitively flirting with your ex who you also happen to work with—, but does it have to be played by such… insufferable characters?
Also there’s a subplot with Wesley who is about to go away to Starfleet Academy. But then he discovers where the kidnapped party is. Hurray, Wesley. Even when you’re almost gone, you’re still saving the fucking day.
Upside? Jean-Luc Picard starts quoting Shakespeare lines in an attempt to convince the Ferengi that he is in love with Roxanna Troi. It’s a reminder of Patrick Stewarts actual future: big plays on Broadway. Also, one of those rare times Jean-Luc Picard seems to be having a ridiculous amount of fun.